Laugh it up, you folks with kids in Iraq!
We're all familiar with the rightwing sense of humor (e.g., GWB's little pantomime of trying to find WMDs under his desk - hiLARious). Or Ashcroft performing his masterpiece, "Let The Eagle Soar," -- oh, wait -- my mistake; that was funny to US, seriously patriotically entertaining to the rightwingers.
In any case, I suppose lil' hijinks such as GWB's search for WMDs in his office or Laura's jokes about Georgie accidentally giving a handjob to a horse weren't funny enough for this administration.
No, now the Pentagon is telling families who have relatives in the military to suck it up, and yuk it up.
Ha ha!! My kid's in Iraq -- and -- hee hee!! Get this - without adequate body armor, in the midst of a civil war, with insurgency rising! GAWD someone, stop me, my sides are about to freakin' SPLIT!! HA ha!! Oh Lord save me! I can't STOP LAUGHING!!! It's too funny!
The fact that someone gets paid to teach folks to laugh about the fact their loved ones are in dire peril really freaks me out. Talk about uber-creepy:
With help from the Pentagon's chief laughter instructor, families of National Guard members are learning to walk like a penguin, laugh like a lion and blurt "ha, ha, hee, hee and ho, ho." No joke."I laugh every chance I get," says the instructor, retired Army colonel James "Scotty" Scott. "That's why I'm blessed to be at the Pentagon, where we definitely need a lot of laughter in our lives."
Scott, 57, is certified as a laughter training specialist by the Ohio-based World Laughter Tour, a group that promotes mirth as medicine. It touts scientific research that suggests chuckling can boost the body's immune system and decrease stress hormones.
Funny. I always thought laughter was a healthy reaction to joy, not a replacement for worry. And who doesn't need more laughter? Maybe if the Iraq war ended and our troops came home, that would be cause for the "mirth" the families don't get enough of.
"World Laughter Tour?" How about spending some of the giggle budget to actually do something that helps our troops? Good lord. I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone.
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74 comments:
Sick. Maybe they could all mutiny over there and send George packing at home - now that would be funny...
My father was a decorated fighter pilot in WWII and told me about the kind of humour that helped him get through it all (he was 20 in his first life and death battle). Humour can be a coping mechanism in dark times. To bastardize this as a technique to fake some laughter and keep the morale up for an immoral war - is sick.
Yes, it's the forced-ness of it all, indeed. Really if you want to deal with stress that comes from constant worrying, it takes therapy and maybe meds for those who can't cope. Mostly therapy, though. The fact that psychoanalysis has come so far, and that we know so much about mental problems, or depression, etc., should be a factor in helping people cope....
NOT A STUPID LAUGHING COACH!!!!
As an Ohioan, I must hang my head in utter shame that this horrific idea comes from "the Ohio-based World Laughter Tour, a group that promotes mirth as medicine.".... sigh....
You poor thing. Well, I'm from Illinois so I understand the midwest nuttiness quite well.
Mirth as medicine. Y'know, I think Reader's Digest already made that discovery public like 50 years ago. WTF. Don't people KNOW inherently that laughter (when appropriate, which is the key) is very therapeutic? It's OBVIOUS.
This is as stupid as having someone coach us on when to cry. And it sounds like these idiots would have you crying at funny things, since they advocate laughing away your horror and sadness.
FREAKS!!!
I find that maniacal laughter does, in fact, keep me safe from danger. Why, just the other day, I busted out my "evil scientist laugh" out while standing in line at the bank, and immediately I was surrounded by armed men in uniforms.
So, I suppose what I'm saying is that maybe the Pentagon's onto something.
I'll have to remember to do that at the post office. Think I can get surrounded, too?
Hey Gary, totally right about the coping mechanism. My grandfather fought in WWII as well, not as a pilot, just infantry. He literally got into some of the worst zones you could be in that war (worst one was Bastogne). If you can't think of anything else, or laugh about some silly joke, you're literally eaten away inside by all of the horror around you. but still...
There's a difference between the people actually fighting the war, and the people waiting at home for them to get back. They actually HAVE to feel the stress, the pain, the worries. It gives them a stronger belief that wars should only be fought when necessary, not when they're wanted. Kerry stated that very clearly during his election campaign, still find it a shame he lost :(
Helen, this yuk-it-up guy at the Pentagon is obviously batshit insane. Can you imagine if he showed up at your door with this advice while you wring your hands and crawl through your skin all day every day waiting for news from your loved one in Iraq. This is the kind of avice that gets the advisor a sock in the nose. What a freaking idiot. He needs to take this fool act on the road, perhaps in Baghdad.
Helen, this yuk-it-up guy at the Pentagon is obviously batshit insane. Can you imagine if he showed up at your door with this advice while you wring your hands and crawl through your skin all day every day waiting for news from your loved one in Iraq. This is the kind of avice that gets the advisor a sock in the nose. What a freaking idiot. He needs to take this fool act on the road, perhaps in Baghdad.
Kame, you and Gary are so right. It's a shame this "laughter" treatment isn't used for the people who actually could use it. Karena: Ha! I'd DEFINITELY sock someone in the nose if they showed up at my door suggesting I practice "laughing" away the horror I am going through, with a loved one in Iraq. Even though I am fortunate enough not to know anyone who's gone (so far), anyone who has ever gone through worry about a loved one would concur: How batshit insane, indeed, to waste the taxpayers' dollars on some giddy freak who goes around forcing people to act opposite of what they feel.
Actually, batshit insane doesn't do it justice.
My head's still spinning about this one. I'm also still amazed that it even got reported by the MSM.
I wonder if this is the same guy that instilled that insane laugh in Dubya (the one Jon Stewart mimics so well). Now that 'heh-heh-heh' is off the wall evil...and kind of frightening when you hear the statements that bring it on.
The most funny laughs are mostly from Cartoon characters: Beavis and Butthead, and certainly not forgetting Sideshow Bob :D
However, if you've seen the dvd of Monty Python: "And now for something completely different", one of the most WICKED laughs ever is performed at the end of the first sketch by John Cleese.
I"M ACTUALLY RESPONDING ABOUT YOUR ANTI-
HUNTING COMMENTS ON ANOTHER BLOG......
Helen,
I'm a patriotic supporter of our leaders succesful war in Iraq. I'm also a patriotic pro-life Christian outdoorsmen who hunts in a biblical style using the "wise eyes" technique.
Let me explain to you....
HUNTING or killing animals for sport and pleasure is in fact really, a solid, and systematic way we men can manage our intense anxieties and fears about other men, our fathers, maleness in general and ESPECIALLY fighting against those deep dark fears we have about ourselves. Its not about bloodlust as you say!
As a masculine conservative hunter and a God fearing man of the bible, I can tell you that the sexual conquering themes are not as you feminist types might think, I mean...they are not directed at women. That interpretation, although more comfortable for such a hetero man like myself... is totally wrong because it misses the target. The fact that men go after the big male animals in a ritualistic homoerotic combat between other big males animals.
Hunting is a homoerotic war we wage against ourselves, against our fathers and against the other men in the world. Its our own battle against the bottomless terror of what maleness is, our own authentic lack of any real courage and a war against the buried fears of inadequacies we men must face and also must attempt to camouflage.
I know and admit that killing an animal helps me confront those horrible challenges of getting it up! Even if it is only symbolic or some male metaphor,
I don't know... it still just feels awesome in that flacid area when I hit a BIG BUCK HARD!!
I know that most, if not all of my hunting buddies have a genuine jealosy of those big Bucks, and that's why we all love to say the BUCK STOPS HERE!
Go here to see what I am saying....
http://deerantlerplus.com/
What hunting also does for us and protects us from...are the deep rooted impulse to violence that we all know other men are capable of and posses. The ritualistic, violent, homoerotic, hot, sadistic and sweaty action which we take against the bodies of unarmed animals during our male obsessed hunting excursions are secretly also the means in which all of us hunters are able to socialize that violence and sadism to ensure that it is commited against those others, (the animals) rather than have it possibly be directed against ourselves by these same men.
For instance, if I know that my big, rough, scary, tough, strapping mean bear of a neighbor Rick from across the street is going to bond with me this coming weekend when we both go out and kill us some rabbits or coyotes together
(in matching military issue vests, helmets and goggles)....I know I have a much better chance of him not coming after me one dark night with his big, sleek, rock hard, steel coated, and shiny-XXL barrel (just polished), maxum Magnum 347.
Helen, ever since modern man no longer had to kill animals for food to survive we hunters have been real good at camouflaging the true hidden agenda about our fears of impotence, our homoerotic longings and protecting ourselves from the agressions of other men by utilizing the sacrificing of animals as a way to demonstrate our manhood.
So now I hope you understand...that its not about bloodlust!
I'm involved with a program to bring women into the hunting world to help save our dying pastime!
http://philbertsuggs.blogspot.com/2006/01/click-herenra-sets-2006-as-year-of.html
God Bless Ye.
Sports-manly yours,
Philbert
Sorry to say this on your blog Helen, I genuinly respect you and all, but this guy really deserves it: YOU ASSHOLE!
Let me quote "HUNTING or killing animals for sport and pleasure is in fact really, a solid, and systematic way we men can manage our intense anxieties and fears about other men, our fathers, maleness in general and ESPECIALLY fighting against those deep dark fears we have about ourselves."
What is this fear about? If you have "intense anxieties and fears" about other men... go see a therapist, don't go kill animals to make yourself feel better.
Maleness isn't managed by this kind of "systematic way of dealing with it", it only states you have a problem with your "maleness". Now... I don't have problems with saying this: I used to feel uncomfortable with other men, you might even call it fear. Now, I learnt to deal with that: the problem is you think you're in some kind of competition. Simply don't compete, that's what I do. Just look at yourself and see if you're happy with who you are. If you aren't, work on that, if you are satisfied with what you see... well, that's it then I guess.
It seems to me you're looking for acknowledgement for who you are. I'm not going further on what Helen might have said about feminism or whatever, but damn... the kind of statements you made here are simply... mindblowing. And yes, I do mean that literally. I'm picking up pieces of brain off of my keyboard and computer screen right now. I can go on for hours about the post you made, I can write a BOOK on it. You've just spammed some thoughts here which made/make America the most hated country in the world.
OMG: "Hunting is a homoerotic war we wage against ourselves, against our fathers and against the other men in the world. Its our own battle against the bottomless terror of what maleness is, our own authentic lack of any real courage and a war against the buried fears of inadequacies we men must face and also must attempt to camouflage." *dies of laughter*
You should consider becoming cabaretier in Europe, we'd laugh our socks off. Only problem is you actually mean this.
Dear PHilbert:
I know many men who would find this appalling... and, ironically enough, sexual dysfunction aside. All your bizarre justificiations aside, it's just needless killing, and you admit you get a sexual thrill from it. That is about as disturbing as it gets.
I consider animals just as important and just as worthy of living on the planet as a human being. We're all really just different species. I respect animals. Do you think they dont' feel pain? Do you think they don't have personalities, emotions, etc.? They do. Only someone really divorced from nature would not know that.
God fearing? Did Jesus hunt? Hellllll no.
I noticed you assume I'm a feminist. What has that to do with anything? My hate of hunting has nothing to do with being a woman, and everything to do with respecting life. I find the type of "Christian" who condones murdering an animal hugely hypocritical.
Who would Jesus shoot?
Good lord, man, you need therapy. This is some sick, sick stuff. I can appreciate you trying to explain, but really, man, Freud would have a field day. You are basically making another innocent being pay for your demented need to kill AND get a boner.
It IS bloodllust and, furthermore, did you know that most serial killers start out by torturing and killing animals? I suspect that you "hunters" really just want to go about killing, and that since you're afraid of the electric chair, you turn your hate and bloodthirst onto animals.
I am actually nauseated at the thought you shoot a animal dead to get a hard-on. You value another's life so little. I hope you get gored by a water buffalo or stampeded by an elephant. You are all cowards hiding behind a high-powered rifle.
Animals (including human beings that don't go around killing) are much better beings than you can ever, EVER hope to be.
YOu are the epitome of arrogance, thinking your sex life merits the murder of some innocent being, who deserves a spot on this planet way more than you ever will.
P.S. If what you say is true, that men "Need" this, why do millions NOT need it? I think you are just delusional and determined to keep justifying your horrible, horrible deeds.
Thanks, Kame.
That blew my mind as well. It is truly, deeply disturbing to me that people like this exist. It's so disheartening. Yes, I DO wish he'd be gored by a water buffalo.
He was responding to this post by my friend, Diane, whose blog everyone should visit:
http://www.dedspace.blogspot.com/
(scroll down to "Mugabe and American hunters")
And get ready to be grossed out, and very, VERY angry.
OMIGAWD!!!!
Go look at the freak's blog!!!
Now I understand:
Killing Animals for Jesus
Helen,
Lets get a few things STRAIGHT! I am a hetero-sexual! I am also very virile!
Also to respond to your comment, I didn't mean "Men need this" (hunting) What I meant was "HUNTERS" need this. Yes, millions of men do need this hunting thing. I was trying to be honest and tell you why it is we men who have to hunt for pleasure...why we do it.
Also I must say that what KAME was saying at the end of her comment section was very insightful. She seems like a smart cookie, tootz.
Please visit my blog again and read the speech I gave to the NRA memebers in Fresno about saving our hunting by bringing in women to help us men keep our dying sport. Maybe you gals could help out?
Also I must confess I'm not a homosexual...
Yet, I was searching on the internets and found your name ..Helen...which is the same name as a woman I'm close to. She is a nun and a good God fearing Christian woman. I even have her website link on my blog...please check out her site....
http://hellen.org/
Oh, Miss Wheels...Is this a coincidence? You and she....? The lord brought me to you through my sister.
And remember I'm not a Homosexual type!
Sports-manly yours,
Philbert
The guy is against the right for women to vote... how can anyone say that these days? Excellent comments you made, Helen ^^
By the way, you said "You are all cowards hiding behind a high-powered rifle."
hmm, my thoughts about this are: look man, if you deperately want to prove your "maleness"... go hunting without the rifle *evil grin* either way it's better for one of us: either you lose some weight by chasing rabbits, or you get eaten by a bear! win-win situation, see?
Also, Philbert, I'm not a friggin' woman! Jesus Christ! :D so don't call me tootz you fag :p you're in phase one of the five phases of Kubler-Ross: denial ^^
also, why do you say "sports-manly yours" when yr really... I mean really... just plain fat?
Oh, Kame, Phil's just a freak o' nature. I honestly thought his blog was a parody like Landover Baptist, and well it may be (although if it is, it's extensive enough to still be quite convincing).
So, Phil, if you are a master parody artist: Bravo!
If you are serious: See a therapist PDQ!
Kame: Wellsaid!
great post. argh. speechless and mirthless in ohio.
I visited the Suggs blog. I think the guy is big time bonkers. And what's with the marching platoon all carrying rebel flags? What's really frightening about this guy, is I meet them all the time and they all need some couch time.
So, I suppose it's time God gave Philbert Suggs a call...and I will report on it.
Suggs' site is so over-the-top whacko that I couldn't help wonder if it is a parody. Let me know what you think, and thanks for reporting back!!
What a wild 'n' whacky world Philbert inhabits, indeed.
BTW, I seem to always attract the complete nutjobs... first Sasparilla, now this. I have to say, I enjoy Suggs' site much more. Aside from the dead animals, which makes me sick, the rest is pretty goddamn funny.
Helen: I checked out Elvis the Women Oppressing Mighty Hunter's blog..... dear God... what can one say?
There are sooo many things to comment on, but since he proudly refers to his own niece as a "hottie"... WTF????... dude, Elvis outfit or no Elvis outfit... that is just wrong.
I miss Humanzee ... the near-perfect troll.
hmm, I get the same comment from my girlfriend (that I seem to attract nutjobs). She kinda means some of my friends by that :D but they're not that kind of nutjobs ^^
When I'm finished on my poetry bundle, I'll prolly start writing a book named: "Proof of Manhood: Study of the homoerotic war of the Conservative Christian Hunter"
I know... it's a long name, but still, think it could score :D
If you didn't know it, you know it now. The title of the film with the longest title ever: "The Englishman who went up a hill, and came down a mountain" *sry, I'm always spilling my useless, though sometimes entertaining information to all the people around me ^^*
God speed :p
I know, Tina. Where does one start? The man (?) is a complete freakozoid. Yeah, he thinks women are pieces of meat, and I suspect he's an incestuous pedophile. And I'm not saying that to be flip or catty. How else would one interpret how he refers to his niece? Brrrrr....
Blogen, I'm sure Sasparilla, in his own twisted way, misses you too :)
Oh, and Blogenfriend, I know he misses me too because he still stalks my blog, even if he doesn't attempt a comment. So, in his own way, he's still here.... *sniff*.
My Dearest Helen...
Everyone now knows who you are..its time to come out! I'm not Rove-ing you out in any Plame state. I'm just letting know that its OK. Everyone can see your real webpage on my blogspot at the bottom of my "favorite's" section.
Or they canjust go here..
http://hellen.org/
You're still a big Wheel!
So this Kame woman is starting to get me a bit angry with her anti male statements. Also the rest of your anti-male posters are really not very understanding of what pain we men who hunt are in! Our dilema of being given dominion by the Lord yet being that he also endowed us with such insignificant manlyness that we cannot ever have real control and or real power! !
Can't any of you have some empathy here...? Or at least some understanding of the utility of and the delights and joys that hunting brings to us "endangered species" the American Hunter? We are a dying breed, a substantial minority! Viagra has been the death of our tradition! It has made our numbers plummet and fall!
There was a time when men were afraid to stay home because of the challenges of having to get it up. But now...with this cursed UNGODLY blue pill men now can stay home and not fear their impotence! There was a time when sport hunting was the only way to cure that deep fear. Now....its time to boycott Viagra!! Or.... lose our killing cure forever!
Hunting is the "wicked pleasures" of cruelty and it is an ode to our natural state. This wild primitive state of being choicless in our passion of killing to make us feel important and God like!
God bless Ye.
Sports-manly yours,
Philbert
Sigh. Philbert, just take a Viagra, and leave the little fuzzy bunnys alone, K?
Oh, I did see your Helen-in-Drag. The sister Helen I remember was short, fat, mean and liked to knock kids' glasses off their faces for the least infraction... or at least for melting crayons on the radiator (I went to Catholic school).
I notice yours, Philbert, has a mustache. I'm surprised you like her, transvestite that she is. Could you please have just a tad of consistency? You're making my head spin.
If they want to make them laugh I don't know why they don't just show them a highlight reel of "George's Best Bushisms".
H W,
Its liberal whackos like you who try and push a good Christian shotgun wielding conservative, anti-choice man like me over the edge. How dare you say that Sister Helen Wheel is a transvestype? She is a loving, good Christian woman who knows her place and would submit to my manly authority if I was ever able to produce some.
I don't need you to insult her! She does this to me already when I am deserving it! And God in his mighty wisdom put certain divine, strong, big bible women like her on this earth to keep a man like myself stable... by using just the right pressure, force and discipline.
Now my good friend Mike Hawk once told me that the animal rights women like you are the ones who will lead the world to Satan because you go against everything God teaches us. You try and degrade the human position of top dog by elevating beasts to our level of deplorable behavior. Its just wrong! Its blasfamous! And its also just aint right!
You've made more than just my head spin!
I'm going to have to read all of Leviticus tomorrow with the heat on and lights off. Darn you woman!
Please Jesus, no, not here,
Philbert
Oh my, he actually reads Leviticus. owwwwwwwwwKaaaaaaaaaay... now you can't judge us for what we are mate, according to your "good book", even with all the Leviticus-crap, and we're not who you think we are. Even if you say: yes that's true, but God WILL judge you... you're just putting words into his mouth. . I'm not a liberal, hell no. I'm even worse than that, A-HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!! *trying out my new laugh ^^*
No, actually the American liberals are presumed to be left. Liberals in Europe are centre-right to right. The farther you go left, the closer to socialist viewpoints, where you find me! *cheers* ok, before you go about yelling Kame is a female man-hating communist, which I am NOT!!! (I AM NOT A WOMAN!! CAN YOU READ? *talking really slow with exaggerated pronunciation*)
I like Sartre too much with his ideas of personal freedom. Being existentialist and communist at the same time is simply not possible.
What I'm thinking right now... is what a lot of other people prolly think now too, especially those who visited Helen wheels blog (and no, not the famous metal chick with lots of muscles who died a while ago), and also not YOUR Helen. This Helen ^^, just leave us alone and don't bother us with your foul and distasteful comments. Patton in WW2 might better have said SUGGS instead of NUTS. Would be a nice expression what you are to me.
I so wish you and your ilk WERE endangered, Philbert, dahling.
And, I would like your mode of exit to be a HI-UGE water buffalo horn right up your bum!
*imagining what Helen said*
Helen, you make me have sick pleasure girl ^^
Praise be to my parents for instilling in me a great sense of taste when it comes to music... plus I think my Marine daddy's 2 tours in Vietnam made him develop a severe love of music in order to escape the horrors of war... so I present to you Helen a favorite of mine and my parents:
The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill by
The Beatles
Hey, bungalow bill
What did you kill
Bungalow bill?
He went out tiger hunting with his elephant and gun
In case of accidents he always took his mom
He’s the all american bullet-headed saxon mother’s son.
All the children sing
Hey bungalow bill
What did you kill
Bungalow bill?
Deep in the jungle where the mighty tiger lies
Bill and his elephants were taken by surprise
So captain marvel zapped in right between the eyes
All the children sing
Hey, bungalow bill
What did you kill
Bungalow bill?
The children asked him if to kill was not a sin
Not when he looked so fierce, his mother butted in
If looks could kill it would have been us instead of him
All the children sing
Hey, bungalow bill
What did you kill
Bungalow bill?
Kame, I'm glad I could provide you with sick pleasure! I simply cannot take Philbert seriously. It's very difficult for me not to believe that his site (and his persona) is something just made up by a very clever and funny person.
Tina, that's purrrrrfect. Bungalow Bill! I love that song too. Well, with the Beatles, what's not to like. Very appropos.
Ha!
Well, I've been doubting if this guy is actually real. I typed in his name on Google and he apparently gave comments on other sites as well. It's not difficult to make such a thing like he did, but to make it so consistent... bit hard to do, yet not impossible. By the way: I'm glad you're glad that I'm glad ^^ weird sentence, but logical!
Crap, have to get back to the books, still need to learn some things by tomorrow, have a Geography exam tomorrow. I now flawlessly can show you about any country in the world. Problem is that's only part of what we have to know, like conflicts, historical context blabla, I won't get into that now. By the way, made a post on my blog of the execution of that 76-year old in California. Only for the interested of course ^^
Hi-
I don't think that this guy is for readl. He's kinda like some bizzaro right wing Ignatius O'Reilly. Can you see him in selling HotDogs and roaring at passersby for their offences to taste and decency?
Oh what WOULD jesus say? (after he got done throwing up!)
Kame, thanks for hanging around and helping me deal with Philbert. IT's been fun! Come back soon! Happy studying, and good luck!!
:)
Oh, yes,Shesh, the guy simply has to be a fake. I mean, c'mon, would ANYONE who looked like that in an Elvis get-up have the temerity to actually post it?
Really... Yes, he is like a more stupid Ignatius O'Reilly. Ha!
His site really is a crackup. I was considering adding a "humor" section and so far, in it would be Philbert and Sasparilla. But I'm sure I can find, many, MANY more.
Some comments about your fan, PHilbert
I don't know what his problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
I see you've set aside Helen's blog as this special place to humiliate yourself in public.
We'll all try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
Ahhh...Helen, I see the screw-up fairy has visited you again.
PHilbert, whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
I've just come out of my Leviticus hibernation-study session. If you have never read Leviticus...you need to. It is a truly beautiful written text that explains why God allows the killing of his own creatures.
LEVITICUS 1.5
He shall kill the bull before Yahweh. Aaron's sons, the priests, shall present the blood and sprinkle the blood around on the altar that is at the door of the Tent of Meeting.
The key to reading Leviticus is to have all the lights off in a blackened room and the heat turned all the way up. I was trying to read using my military issue infrared lenses but they would just steam up and I became dizzy.
Philbert
Helen, woman... I am not a fake! I also do not understand in the name of Jesus why you keep saying that I am dressed as Elvis. In that photo I'm wearing my Christian wrestling and work out uniform.
Here at this webspot you can see my work....
http://wrestlingforjesus.org/
I'm a dedicated Christian wrestler and I'm a man, a disciple, and a servant to our father and I through this activity am commited to grappling men for Jesus.
Now....
This Kame woman does not let up! She has to be one of the most annoying woman I've ever blogged with. She is always mistaken and missing the mark, so to speak.
She would make an awful hunter and would injure her game everytime because of her shoddy poor aim.
So, to prove to you that I am not a fake, I will let you have the URL to my music space
(only music proffesionals and sportsmen have this URL code)
here you will be able to listen to the song I have written and sang for George Bush (The Leader). I have already performed this patriotic smash with the boss Toby Keith at the San Bernadino County Fair. I will be singing this and other songs of mine at the upcoming Safari Club International hunting conference next week in Reno.
http://myspace.com/philbertsuggssings
Also on my music space is the sad song I wrote for the troops.
I'm as Real Man as They GET!
Sports-manly Yours,
Philbert
Philbert, I already listened to your tunes. Thank you for the hearty laugh; I spewed Crystal Geyser all over my desk.
Also: I am an atheist, and therefore I don't believe in your god or anything the bible says. It's nice mythology and beautifully written; but that's about all I can say about it. Who invented god? Man!
Anyway, you can now imagine that since I don't have anything more to say to a crazy, misogynist freak with a tin ear, you can move on, K?
I have to admit, you are entertaining though. No one has made me laugh harder than you in the past 2 days.
Your Wrestling Suit? For chrissakes, man, a person of your girth should definitely NOT be straining himself in such endeavors! You will cause yourself a heart attack!
And we don't want that to happen before a water buffalo or a tiger gets a crack at you.
Earl, I have to admit, I've never seen a specimen quite like our Philbert. I have to give him credit for never getting overly critical, really. I mean, he IS more polite than most rightwing Christo-fascists.
I agree: What is he going after w/that look? Hmmmm... definitely the opposite of flattering. MEthinks someone better rethink his wardrobe.
Guess Philbs here is using those infrared lenses while looking at my comments, because he still says I'm a woman :s
*shouts* I AM A MAN!
maybe that'll do the trick ^^
Anyway, the first part of Leviticus is about offerings. You obviously interpret the bible literally.
"He shall kill the bull before Yahweh." that's not an order he gave you man!
You should read the gospel of John. Jesus says there that a sheperd would give his own life for his SHEEP. This isn't meant literally, but it's significant towards his viewpoint. It means that someone who has "power" over something/someone else, being the creator, or ordinary men/women (God gave the earth to man... so we're the sheperd of his creation), means you have a responsibility over it. Yet you don't get that. You go hunt bears and other animals God created. Do you show respect for his creation? No... you kill it. A true sheperd creates balance, cares for the work of his creator, and so should only kill when he has to (this means you're actually eating the animal, not using it as a stuffed animal in your living room ^^)
I'm no Christian, which isn't blasphemy by the way ^^, but I live up to my values, you should see the bible in context, there are many contradictions, and many ways to interpret them. El Jebus would want you to pick the most loving and caring way to interpret that. For that is what he represents, is it not?
Kame, that's it exactly. To be given dominion or responsibility of something means to take care of it. Any healthy adult knows that means fostering and caring for it, whether an animal, child, plant, etc.
This cowardly mowing down of animals in order to get a woody for oneself is beyond a skewed biblical interpretation. Even in Leviticus, it doesn't say anything about needless slaughter - slaughtering a goat to God as a sacrifice is probably as far as they go. Joy-killing is not for God. It's for the hunter's own sick pleasure at watching something die. And if you do that, you are one sick freak.
Laughter is great, especially in a tough time and situation. I actually, after some consideration, have decided that this may be a good program and if the families involved feel they are getting a benefit from it, I cannot criticize that. I am much more upset that the military is ordering soldiers not to use non-government standard body armor even though the government standard is inferior to the commercial body armor that many soldiers have purchased on their own or had purchased for them. And telling the troops that if they die while using non-standard body armor, their life insurance won't be honored.
And in the end, if they'd just bring the troops home they wouldn't need a Comedy Officer.
I think Philbert is a jokester.
I don't think he's real righty..
I don't think the most righty right would label themselves as "Anti choice"
I think it's a parody site.
well... Belgium is making a small profit of the war in Iraq with body armor ^^ very decent equipment. I even heard a lot of soldiers don't even HAVE body armor, now that is dangerous.
Crackpot, I'm with you. He's just not "authentic" enough. And the REAL righties are much less humorous.
It really is an incredible effort, did you see his site?!?!
It's actually really hilarious, I think Philbert did a great job.
he also posts on other sites by the way. I think he might be a Democrat who just makes up such a character to show us an exaggerated version of the conservative ideologies.
Even if he's real, he's bad for the republicans.
That's probably his intent, is my guess.
Helen: OK... let's go with the very plausible premise that Phrelvisbert Presleysuggs is a complete mock-job of all thing uber-Christian conservative... isn't it BEYOND scary that these freaks have become so FAR out there that we honestly don't know if this guy and his blog is a joke or not????
Ha! Scary indeed! The fact that we're still not 100% sure should give one pause, that's for sure.
Usually, even extrem leftwing nuts aren't as freakish as Phelvisbert! Did you go to his site and/or hear his tunes? Priceless.
Early on I knew it was a farce because of that link to Sr. Helen he sent. Did you go there? Pretty funny shtuff.
He also used the term HomoErotic.
I highly doubt there are many righties who would describe Hunting as Homoerotic.
But I do condone this kind boofoonery. The website's fun.
Yes, once I figured out that it was a fake, I enjoyed it all the more. It would have been too scary if it was real. WAYYYY too scary.
Helen: I emailed you. Please check your mail... tee hee!
*imagining helen driving to the man's alleged house to check if he's real or not*
I just wonder where "Philbert" got that "elvis" pic. Good lord, that is a crackup.
Well, Helen, I see you've lost one troll...da chimpanzee...and aquired another...Dr. Philburt. Looks like the Pilsbury Doughboy.
You're soooo lucky.
Welll... grandpa, "Philbert" isn't really a troll, after all. He-or-she IS a brilliant satirist, however, and I bow down to the brilliance that is Philbert's blog, "Killing animals for Jesus."
You see, Tina did a bit of investigation so we know his deal now. And we are impressed!!
not only Tina :p
This has been the funniest comment thread ever. They should send a transcript out to war families to keep moral up.
Kame, it was a dead giveaway that Philbert kept referring to you as "she".
Drew: Ha! I'm not sure how much morale this would boost... maybe the weirder of the troops' families?
Seriously, though - this is the longest thread I've ever had, all thanks to Philbert!
Dear Wheels,
I've been extremely busy rehearsing for my upcomings singing set at the Safari Club convention next week in Reno and auto-graphing my new packing products which I will be selling at booth # 6583. But a good hunting buddy of mine (a high ranking Gun Owners of America officer)
told me to have a quick gander at the new comments on your blog.
I've just read all of your and your female readers new comments and I'm thinking of posting a "blog me" link on me blog which would lead my readers to your blog where they can see for themselves.. your transition-position.
It's a fantastic, colorful and yes powerful read, filled with so many deep, brilliant explanations on my part about the beauty of hunting and the need it fills for millions of lonely, insecure and overweight men.
Although I'm fairly used to folks switching from being anti-hunting and coming around to understand my side of having a biblical and religious disregard for animals and seeing all this as part of HIS love for us. I've never really man-aged to have it unfold in such a convincing dialogue where all the women finally just admit that my persona and my philosophy of staunch, resolute and potent maleness is TRUTH.
So you and your readers should be proud of your discovery of the positive qualities of the bloodsports. Because it is about the freedom, the liberty, the patriotism that our founding fathers granted to all of us men to kill animals. Yet, as you and your readers now realize its not only the delight in killing but the strength it gives to so many unhappy and scared fellas.
I'm thinking of linking....
your blog (well this post) to the NRA women's section of their webspot. I want the NRA to see how its done how easy it is to bring women to our side of killing animals.
So I say to thee
The motto of the free....
An Elephant is a dog is a coon is a tree!
God bless.
Sports-manly yours,
Philbert
Dearest PHilbert,
Link away! Although I don't think any of our comments show we've "come around," if you want to believe that, it's just dandy with me! Is Sr. Helen a member?
Helen,
I realize I am chiming in a little late in the game, but this is the most bizarro blog (Philbert's) and list of comments I have ever seen. Oh my God!
Tina's name for Philbert was priceless and I pray Crackpot is right, that this is a spoof. I have heard of the wrestling for Jesus gang before and they are real. I think he is just making fun of them and of hunting. If not, we are in worse trouble than we thought!
I think Philbert is making the rightwing whackos look bad, either way... and I find him endlessly entertaining, so he's my new favorite troll!!
I know what you mean though: SCARY!
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